Baptism by Flower Water – NYC Moments #119

In many religions and cultures you are baptized and thus renewed. It’s a big event for most as well as new start for some. What about those moments when you just need a little pick me up that isn’t in the form of say, chocolate? I was in a funk this morning and went for my usual cup of organic coffee at Whole Foods in the Bowery. I did manage to not go for the chocolate chip scone because I must have known at an intuitive level that there was a better way.  I found it sitting at a red light on Houston in the form of a NYC water truck.  It was dousing with a beautiful arc of water the pretty flowers in the median. Impulse took hold and I dashed from my corner and triumphantly stood with arms flung high under the arc of water coming from the top of the truck and was thus baptised NYC style. I yelled ‘Thank you!’ and skipped off home.  It was just what I needed to put a bit of the kid back in me in this very adult world and a smile on my face.

copyright Jillanne Ohana
17 June 2009

My Haiku – NYC Moments #116

New York Rocks My World

Art, Music, Culture Is Galore

Much Too Little Sleep

copyright Jillanne Ohana – would be Haiku Master

12 June 2009

Why Stop The Fun? – NYC Moments: #113.5

I actually wanted to write this blog last night, but I was so darn tired, so here it is now.  (Hence the #113.5)  This is about the butt grabbing part of #113.  I at a networking event and though I am an ‘Artistic Person’ I was in business mode.  So there I was standing at the bar waiting for my drink when I felt not one, but both my checks being fondled.  I have to say it felt kinda nice buy I really wasn’t sure what to do since this was a professsional function.   It resolved itself when the grabber turned to me and said, “Did I just grab your ass?”  After looking around and seeing that there was another actor next to me, my humor set in and I said, “The actor instinct  in me really wants to keep the circle going and grab this young lady’s ass, but I think I’ll restrain myself.”  She then turns to me, “Why stop the fun?”  That is when we all burst out laughing.  It turns out that the gentleman was just taking his coat off and my rear happened to be right there.  We all had a great laugh and are now good buddies.  It’s kinda a fun way to meet people actually.

I Prefer The Term Slender – NYC Moments #110

I haven’t been called skinny since ninth grade. High School kids are known for their cruelty, but none of them ever added the term Bitch to the skinny part. There is a first time for everything and the E.V. (That’s the East Village for you non-NYCers) is known for it’s….uhm…eccentricities. While the the two young girls who directed the remark in my direction may have been barely out of high school, I’m way past that phase so I just smiled sweetly and finished eating my slice. Maybe they were jealous because my 108 lbs self will stay at 108 lbs after eating that luscious, cheesy morsel.

I actually kinda like being a Skinny Bitch…after all, it’s made me a lot of money as a professional model here in NYC…

copyright JillAnne Ohana

20 May 2009

No Sex In This City – NYC Moments: #109

It happened.  My neighbor down below banged on the ceiling when I was…um…enjoying the pleasures of  life.   I’m at a loss.  I’ve put down a rug in my kitchen (yes it does add to the adventure of cooking and trying to remain hygienic).  I’ve been asked by my landlord to wear slippers.  The tenant below requested that I not walk around after 10pm at night.  I can just imaging the next email:  “Dear Neighbor, Please don’t have sex in your apartment because it disturbs me.”   This poor lady really doesn’t understand that in New York we live in apartments.   It is is normal and acceptable for the floors to creak and the people to moan.   I have to say I’m tempted to have a full out orgy just to stake my claim in my little domain.  The banging from below could turn out to be a turn on and cause more banging from above 🙂  We’ll see what happens tonight… (wink)

copyright JillAnne  Ohana

18 May 2009

Yin and Yang of Traveling – NYC Moments: #108

I was in the air for ten hours yesterday.  Yes, going to Hawaii from NYC does have that one drawback.  Life is full of yin and yang’s.  Perfect example was my flight from JFK to LAX:  Before the story starts I should mention that we were sitting in the coach section.  I did have my seat leaned back the whole two inches in the reclining position, which I figured was my right since I put down the cash for that seat space.  The guy behind me politely asked me if I could move my seat forward so he could work because there was not a lot of room for him.  I equally politely said that I understood but there was not a lot of room for anyone and unfortunately unlike cars, I did not have a lever that could provide more space for him.  I’m really sorry but there is nothing I can do.  But I can’t work he replied.  I’m really sorry I responded as I put my headphones back on and tried to sleep.  Excuse me, I hear ten minutes later.  OMG.  He is not bugging me again.  Aloha only goes so far – now it is time for me to be the NYCer.  Couldn’t you just put your seat forward.  I really have no room.  I tell him firmly:  No.  I have no control over the space that is provided in coach.  Perhaps you could ask the flight attendant if there is a seat that is better suited for you.  Maybe there is one in first class, but being that this is coach I cannot help you.  Now if you are unable or unwilling to talk to the attendant, I will be glad to.  As luck would have it an attendant was walking by, so I explained that my neighbor was unhappy and could they find him another seat so that i could have some peace.  The nice lady then also explained to the guy that yes there were other seats available, but they would not provide any more room so he would still be unhappy even if he moved.  

Funny.  I didn’t hear another peep out of him.  

The flip side was my seat neighbor in front of me.  Charming lady with her little boy.  We became instant friends.  I watched her son while she went to the ladies room.  The son and I played peek-a-boo.  We exchanged info and I’m sure we will have a lasting friendship.  I love yin and yang’s.

copyright JillAnne Ohana

12 May 2009

Do you want a girlfriend or a hooker? NYC Moments #107

Too bad this can’t be NYC Moments #69.  I guess #107 is close enough to 007 (sorry Bond, but you do have a reputation…)  This is all coming about because I went to an event last night that was business oriented and met two gentlemen from Austin.  They had recently located here and one was taking about how hard it was to meet women here in NYC.  I can understand that.  This is an ‘achieving’ city.  A lot of us here are here to accomplish something and if meeting someone happens that is just the icing on the cake.  After the gentlemen said, ‘what do you have to do here to get laid?’ I thought there you have it folks!  Of course he is having trouble meeting women, because we have ‘the guy just wants to get his rocks off’ radar devise installed.  I was too polite to suggest that he find a hooker if he wants to just have sex.  Or maybe I should have to let him know how it works in this city…

copyright JillAnne Ohana

4/30/09

Love is beautiful by JillAnne Ohana

Twitter spam…Really? – NYC Moments #101

Maybe the title of this should be Twitter 101…or for that matter Facebook 101.  I’m talking about spam.  A friend of mine on FB wrote this morning, “Isn’t the point of Twitter that you send out short tweets less than 140 characters? I feel a bit annoyed when I get 10 consecutive tweets from the same person either continuing their message or sending out a million links to their products or sites.”  I agree.  Can you guys/gals not be so flipping narcissistic and keep it down?  There are other people out there in the world to share the space with after all…

 

copyright Jillanne Ohana

4/21/09

Apartments – NYC Moments #100

I got a call from my landlady today saying that the lady down below was complaining that I was walking around in my apartment past midnight.   I can’t believe that my landlady would even waste a phone call hinting that I should, what…not walk around in my own apartment?  Does that mean I can’t have sex?  Or get up and pee?  There goes my yoga practice for sure.  The real problem is that I live in a very old brownstone and the whole building creaks if you even breath.    I happen to have the top floor, so I am lucky.  My neighbor is not quite so lucky and she may have to find something that works better for her rather than torturing us all.  The landlady did spent bucko bucks on a full size area rug with extra padding that now resides in my kitchen.  Yes, that would be my kitchen.  It of course did nothing to keep the building from creaking and moaning but it is nice and cozy in there now.  In fact, I spend more time in the creaky kitchen because the room is so pleasant now.

I completely understand and have empathy for my neighbor.   All I can say is, ‘Welcome to apartment living in NYC and if you don’t like it perhaps you should leave.’

copyright Jillanne Ohana

4/18/09

If I live in Brooklyn am I still a NYCer?

So…like a lot of folks out there I am trying the Brooklyn thing…I have to be honest and say this is my second stint…the first lasted 1.5 months…Can you blame a girl for not liking to have the local police precinct in your cell speed dial?  It would have been more honest of my then landlord to say the area I was moving into was Bed-Sty…yeah, I know, it’s up and coming, but give me a break, I had just transplanted myself from La Jolla, California the land of fairy tales…

So here I am, braving a new borough area…this time it is Boerum Hill (and the historic district at that…).  I actually have very good friends who live 5 buildings down and a very cool landlady…AND the shop owners are nice…AND I’m 1.5 blocks from the train…AND it is quiet at night…AND I have a kitchen that is the size of most Manhattan studios…AND there is a Trader Joe’s 4 blocks away that has practically no lines (shoot!  I meant to keep that a secret…).

Mind you, there is not the Manhattan vibe here, but I guess I can commute in the whole 15 minutes…AND my passport is up to date 🙂